Today I woke up not so hot. So now I have to do things that will make things better for me in terms of heat. I’m already taking coffee which helps every once a month, I am saying ‘thank you’ which helps in the releasing. I was releasing as I came to work in the morning and now finally I hooking myself up with some Abraham-Hicks. I am destined to have a good day today. If I was to add a little planning, I would have a productive day too!
I feel alive again. Like I was reborn. Why, you might ask? Competition! I make it a conscious effort to run away from competition, all forms of hard work efforts and strains. This competition, a job interview was sort of forced on me, and I, being me, I could not hurt by saying ‘no’ so I went. Anyhoo, it was really great! I sat there and did my best, which was all anyone could ask me to do. I was happy with me and just happy in general. It is a great feeling!
One of the main reasons why I am not doing what I want to be doing is because of fear. Fear at very many levels. What will people say, will they think of me. What if I fail, then what? Who will take care of me, my life in this society, already life is not particularly easy for me, and how will it be when I do this thing that I want.
Now I know there is a cure for this. It is relatively easy; all I have to do is concentrate on that thing that I want. That is all. Concentrate on that. It is as easy as that. Any time my fear comes I have to turn to that which I want, that which makes me feel better.
I have heard of the importance of planning. I have been trying my best, but to be honest I have never been very good at it. A guy I knew once gave me the best advice about planning I know that is practical enough for the bohemian in me to work with. He said if you plan generally enough and set the goal wide enough; giving your self enough space you will achieve your goal for sure. This works pretty well for me. In fact it has enabled me achieve quite a number of goals. Not the very important ones but well most of them.
This other guy said if you have goals have them where you will see them often. That I must admit always works for. I have achieved so many goals that way. Most without really even trying consciously (which by the way is my favorite way achieve goals). So now tonight, I have to restart. You know, put up all my goals, where I will see them often, and write the ones that I really want; the ones that make my heart pitah pattah.Today I am discovering that there really is more that I can do. I have lived, sort of in the dark, unconscious, sort of afraid of living, afraid of my passions, the things I wanted, running after people who do not care about me, generally running away from reality. To be honest, it is not really a bad life, it is okay, it is comfortable, things that are good do happen many surprises, but also to be honest, so do some bad things. I end up feeling sometimes that I could have more, be more, there is more, there is a better deal, there is more. I see others around me and see that they have more, and because I am not very different from them, I know that what they have I could have also. I am not so special that I can not have what they have, we are all the same and we all have the same potential, being human beings and all. So from this week I am trying to find out, to be better today than I was yesterday, trying to see how and when this will happen. Because believe me it will!!!!
Yesterday I spent a whole lot of time feeling sorry for me, you see I had not been paid, I reached home and found no electricity, I felt a alone, the man I had feelings for recently let me go..... But I started to feel better, (I have been spending a whole lot of time listening to Abraham-Hicks). Today, I got the sign that my pay (well some of it)would be paid today, I got my ‘gross dividend’, also during my lunch break I met a guy!!!! Isn’t life fabulous!!!! I’m going to make a bigger effort, letting for of the bottom of the stream and go with the flow.
